An Ending

It is tempting to apologise for my ramblings.
Certainly for my naivety, and how obvious some things are in hindsight which I couldnt see at the time is clearly a deep embarrassment.
but
In a spirit of honesty, ( and I have never been anything but honest in writing about my thinking here) I will leave these pages standingas a testament to a journey.

The temptation to edit myself into someone smarter, cleverer, someone less hurt and more insightful is sooo tempting.
but
I have learned a lot about myself these past years and perhaps even my naivety is a lesson.


I re-read some passages from the book "Will I ever be good enough" the other day
and realised, having read it some two years previously, I now understood it completely in hindsight. (Isn't that always the way.)
I found myself laughing at the simplicity of phrases such as "be kind to yourself - be compassionate and parent yourself..".
It has taken literally years to understand how to do that.
To say " Let yourself grieve." is simple but to dispose of roadblocks in my head that stopped me understanding how, to deal with the stages of grief - over and over again...and to know and recognise when I had reached an end.

sigh

It isn't an easy thing this.









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